Why Online Dating Sucks and It’s Our Fault.

“Aw, where did you guys meet?” – the dreaded question of the century.

Dating is rough, no doubt about it. I’m sure it’s always been rough and will continue to be til the end of time. However, at this very moment, it completely sucks. Long gone are the days of meeting someone naturally. So long to the moment of crossing paths at a grocery store with sparks in your eyes. Farewell to someone casually buying you a drink at your favorite bar. Why have these scenarios become so obsolete? Cue Tinder, Match, OkCupid, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, Our time; shall I keep going? Not only have these dating services sucked all kind of romance out of our system, but they’ve also put a complete damper on our expectations.

Perhaps it’s true. Perhaps those commercials of finding your true love on the internet can become reality. But do they realize how many damn fish there are in the sea? What exactly are the odds of finding someone you’ll connect with? How can you determine if you should give someone a chance simply by swiping left or right? And once you do give someone that chance, what’s the smoothest transition to taking it to the “real world”?

And once you do exchange numbers and even meet in person, that subtle interest becomes dust in the wind. Why is that? That excitement you once had goes away and in comes the realization that you actually have to put yourself out there. You have to put your phone down and face it head on. Then hesitation sets in and you either back off or completely ghost. And let’s just keep it real… we’ve all been there and done that. Whether you’ve been ghosted or you do that act, it doesn’t feel good all around.

So why is online dating so popular? Why is it so mainstream? These are the questions I’d like to have answered. Because quite frankly, I’m conflicted. I go through phases of wanting to be in a relationship, wanting to find someone and not be “alone” – but then I suddenly have this regret. Why am I doing this? I’m putting myself out there, and when I do get some sort of attention or feedback, I (almost) immediately retract and convince myself that I’m not ready. Not ready for what you might ask? To date, to flirt through messages, to actually meet a “stranger” in person. If I’m not wholeheartedly into the idea of meeting someone online, does that hinder my chances of doing so?  

Here’s my final thought; I think you most definitely can find your partner online. Is it hard? Yes. But doable. However from my own experience, if you’re not fully invested, then it won’t work.

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